Steven Gerrard owes me £50
England World Cup “Squad”
Dear Mr Gerrard
I hope this letter finds you well.
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you and the rest of the ‘squad’ on your professional victory yesterday against Paraguay .
Secondly (and in truth the main reason for me writing), I would like to bring a rather delicate matter to your attention. I placed a £1 ‘Correct Score after 90 minutes’ bet at 50-1 with William Hill’s on West Ham United to beat your Liverpool side 3 goals to 2 in this year’s FA Cup Final. As you may or may not remember you scored a goal in ‘injury time ’ making the scores level and losing me £50 in the process. I am of the opinion that it was a somewhat speculative if not lucky shot, though I did read in the newspaper the following day that it was a moment of pure genius. I suppose such differences of opinion are what make football the game we all know and love.
My local branch of William Hill’s has refused to pay out on the bet even though after exactly 90 minutes the score was indeed 3-2 to ‘The Hammers’. I have written to Mr. Hill himself on the matter and expect a reply any day now.
In the meantime, as one reasonable man to another, I am sure you will agree that the only honourable course to take would be for you to pay out the £50 yourself. I am not suggesting for one minute that you scoring that equalising goal was a selfish or attention-seeking act on your part - but it is clear that you were not thinking of those less fortunate than yourself at that precise moment.
Also, I feel it would be negligent of me not to point out that £50 to you is not a great deal of money at this point in your ‘career‘. By my calculations, you are paid £50 every five minutes - and that is not only while you are at work. You are paid £50 every five minutes even while you are asleep or on the toilet.
I must make it clear that I am not an envious man. I believe in the ‘free market’ – ( I would have voted for Margaret Thatcher if I had not been living in Canada at the time ) - and I am the last person to begrudge you your obscene wages.
I would prefer, if possible, for the money to be paid in cash ( or an uncrossed postal order) since, as you may or may not know, I am having a small dispute with my Bank Manager at present over the state of my account and feel it wisest not to ‘rock the boat’ with any unnecessary deposits.
I appreciate that you must have a lot on your plate at the moment, what with a sore back and the ‘Frank Lampard Conundrum’ to contend with, but I am sure you will agree that a matter of principle such as this must always take precedence. There is also the question of what do about the ‘Doritos’ I was eating at the time of your ‘goal’, but in the spirit of compromise I am prepared to let that go for the moment.
I wish you luck with the rest of the ‘World Cup’ and look forward to your reply.
P.S. Recorded Delivery is advised when sending cash through the mail.